When is a queue not a queue?

Probably the thing that irritates, frustrates, annoys and drives foreigners to distraction is the concept of politely standing in line while waiting your turn to be served!
However, just writing that sentence reminds me that getting to the heart of this blog page necessitates a complete cultural paradigm shift. When we judge something from our own cultural perspective, there is always the assumption that the way I do it, is the correct way. Therefore anyone else doing something in a different way, has got to be incorrect.

When is a line not a line?

Now for many of us, this is obvious. However when doing some informal research for this blog with some of my friends, I asked them to explain the protocol, the system, the procedure for standing in line. However, I begun to realise that there are many innate rules, in fact some that people have never thought about. But as an outsider, it is important to try and learn how lines work, especially as you will need to wait to be served at some stage in your travels in Egypt.
What I have discovered, is that there are basically 4 types of waiting in line scenarios here. However I have even begun to question the use of the word line, as this implied one, straight, simple route!

1. Modern offices

At present, there are many banks, data providers, cell-phone companies and even some government departments that have a computer-generated ticket system. Generally this works fairly well, as long as the computer, the speakers (usually on the highest volume possible) and the screens displaying the numbers of the ticket and the corresponding counter are all working harmoniously. This is a system which many foreigners are used to, and are quite comfortable with, until this system dissolves into the 3rd type listed below!

2. The classic line

Again, this would seem to be something that foreigners might instantly recognise. There is some sort of door or counter, and people seem to standing in a some-what straight line, beginning from the door or counter, away. However, at times it may be in a curved shape as in waiting to check in at an airport. But again, in Egypt, this can easily dissolve into type 3, listed below.

3. The semi-circle bunch

This is generally in smaller, traditional type shops. Places that sell local bread, vegetable carts, meat and chicken vendors, grocery counters with cheese, olives and cold meats (a favourite in this country!) What happens is that people just crowd around the vendor or sales person, and gather together in a clump, trying to get as close to the vendor as possible. As the numbers increase, so does the pressure:
• the loudness of the voices (sir, excuse me, please),
• the waving of orders or money,
• the firm but insistent pushing by the person behind you, trying to get their shoulder or arm into the gap between you.

However, there is the inevitable time when someone seems to merely glide to the front of this clump, which somehow opens for him/her. The vendor will respectfully greet them and then serve them straight away. This had left me perplexed for many a year, until I began to join these semi-circle bunches. I wanted to see if I could work out an understanding of what the requirements are, that allow others to effectively jump the queue (or cut the bunch?). This is what I have observed over the years:

How to push in front…

1. Look more sick than anyone else, if you are waiting to see the doctor. Cough loudly, groan, dab the sweat from your forehead, keep sighing.
2. Appear to be more busy and in a far more of a hurry than all the others waiting
3. Behave like you have more money than anyone else
4. Be in a major crisis, which of course necessitates you going to the front
5. Pay a small gift to the receptionist
6. Be known by the vendor (usually because you give really good tips for their service)
7. Look important (sunglasses and a suit)
8. If you are young lady, look your prettiest, well made up and beautifully dressed!! (if the vendor is a man, which usually they are)
9. Being tall is very helpful (usually so that your arm is waving higher, or your head is visible, or you can get your arm over the rest of the people, right into the face of the vendor!)
10. Carrying an impressive looking briefcase (which satisfies numbers 2 – 4, and 7 above)
In fact, I have heard from a few sources, that if people know they might have to wait in a line or a bunch, they deliberately dress up, so that by fulfilling as many of the criteria above as possible, they will be willingly allowed to the front.

How to get served (as a foreigner)

Firstly, get rid of your preconceived ideas about waiting in line (unless of course it is a modern office as mentioned above). Don’t get angry! Try and work out which of the types of line it is, and then behave accordingly. If you stand in what you think is a polite manner, standing in a type 2 classic line, when it is indeed a type 3 semi-circle bunch, you will not get served. And in fact you might think that people are looking at you and thinking: now there is a polite, well disciplined and sensible person. No! They will be looking rather perplexed, wondering why you aren’t joining the bunch and getting served. In fact after a little while, whoever can speak english will be sent to see if they can help you, as you obviously don’t understand how things work!
So don’t be scared, look and learn and get familiar and comfortable with the semi-circle bunch! And don’t despair if a classic line or semi-circle bunch disintegrates into:

4. The dreaded hybrid (line-bunch)

It may have started out as a classic line, but then due to the fact that a lot of important looking people have arrived. They all go to the front and form their own semi-circle bunch!!! But again, stay calm, breathe and enjoy the experience. All I can say is there nothing as sweet as a hot falafel sandwich, successful bought from a busy shop, where you have triumphed over the semicircle bunch.

If you can do this, you will know you have jumped the inter-cultural divide!